Dear Morgan: Average or Undersized

Starting this week, Penis Enlargement Inc. is going to be running a syndicated sex advice column. Feel free to send in your questions, whether it be about your size concerns, sexual habits, or any and all related inquiries. Morgan is a registered sex-therapist who has been writing online under a pseudonym for a number of years, and we are happy to welcome her to our team!



Dear Morgan,

My live-in girlfriend and I have been together for six years, and the sex has been ok. Nothing extraordinary, but I'm pretty sure I'm doing a good job. A few nights ago I was using her laptop to download some music, and I found a folder full of porn. Every single video was 'Giant Dicks' and 'Massive Cocks' and stuff like that. Is she trying to tell me something? Am I not measuring up?

Sincerely,
Average Or Undersized

Dear AOU

Are you out of your mind? You come home and discover your girlfriend is watching nasty porn, and have a nervous breakdown like some midwestern housewife? Porn is not a disease or an addiction, it is a sexy, fun, and sometimes therapeutic outlet for our own sexual fantasies. Porn stars are paid professionals [this is if we're excluding some of the dicey material where the sex workers are being abused, or taken advantage of], and they are paid for not only their professionalism but their extraordinary bodies.

Whether it's giant dongs or massively inflated silicone breasts, porn is replete with the most extraordinarily enhanced or exaggerated sexual body parts. Penis enlargement surgeries are less common than breast enhancements, but we're pretty sure they're taking place. All of these actors are taking penis pills, be they Cialis, Viagra, or growth compounds, so you can safely assume there's a little artificial help being given to that uh... 'natural talent'.

Let's try another perspective – if your girlfriend lost her mind because she'd found your porno stash, and started spiralling into insecurity about her comparitively undersized breasts, or her inability to take two cocks in her ass at the same time, you would tell her you loved her as she was and explain to her the difference between a porno and real life, right?

Well you would if you ever wanted to have sex with her again. So take the same advice, and get over yourself. Your girlfriend has been getting off to dicks because that's what she's into – dicks. Play up to her interests and work a little cock worship into your nightly bed-romp and it might go from being six years of 'ok' sex to six more years of stupendous sex.