Average Penis Size in the Animal Kingdom

Many people wonder about the average penis size in humans, and how they measure up in comparison with the average man. If you've been asking this question, the answer to your query is that the average size for human males is about 5.5 inches when erect. Now that you know how you measure up in comparison to the human population, don't you wonder where you stand in comparison to the rest of the animal kingdom? Well, we've compiled some interesting facts about penis size in the animal kingdom. Some of it might surprise you. Who knew that a humble duck could be so well-endowed?

The Biggest Penis of Them All

The biggest penis in the animal kingdom appropriately enough belongs to the biggest mammal in the animal kingdom. Yes, the mighty blue whale holds the title for biggest penis, with reported measurements of up to 2.4 meters, or a whopping 8 feet! They also have extremely dexterous penises, as they are able to move and bend them in the water almost like limbs. It might be kind of cool to have that kind of dexterity...

Penis Size if Relative

Obviously the biggest animal in the world has the biggest penis, but compared to its enormous body size, the blue whale's penis isn't that big. The smallest penis in the world happens to belong to the tiny rodent, the common shrew, whose average penis size is a mere fifth of an inch long. This doesn't change the fact that compared to overall body size, rodents are pretty well-endowed. Conversely, gorillas, who are the largest of the primates, also happen to have the smallest relative penis size. Humans on the other hand, although being much weaker than the gorilla, have the largest relative penis size out of all the primates. African bull elephants have one of the largest penises in the animal kingdom with respect to overall body size. Their penises can reach a massive 6 and a half feet long. Yowza. The animal holding the title for biggest penis relative to body size is the humble barnacle, whose penis can be up to 50 times its body length! The reason for this is that barnacles lack mobility and need to do some serious reaching to mate with other barnacles. It really gives new meaning to the term “long distance relationship.”

Penis Shapes & Sizes

Not only is there a diverse variety of penis sizes in the animal kingdom, but there is also a wide range of shapes that animal penises come in. For example, the extremely well-endowed Argentine Lake Duck has a bizarre corkscrew-shaped penis. Not only that, but the average penis size for this breed of duck is a mammoth 8 inches! It's hard to imagine how they stay afloat. Interestingly, pigs are also blessed with curly penises. And you thought it was just their tails.

Another interesting member of the animal kingdom is that of squids and octopuses. They actually have one of their tentacles, called the hectocotylus, that transforms into a massive penis. One breed of octopus, the argonaut, actually has a detachable penis that swims to its mate and impregnates her remotely. You should tell your girlfriend about the argonaut next time she accuses you of having intimacy issues!

Top Five Lesser-Known Penis Exercises

You're probably familiar with the concept of penis exercises. Exercises like jelqing and hanging are popular methods of increasing the size of one's penis. By performing these simple exercises daily, men around the world successfully make their penises bigger. The penis is a muscle after all, so why not exercise it like you would your abs or biceps? But besides the aforementioned exercises that are widely used around the world, there is a variety of less-popular and often rather strange exercises that people on the fringes of society have devised to make their penises larger, and we've compiled a list of 5 of the most interesting lesser-known penis exercises that we've come across in our research. Keep in mind that these are unpopular (read: fictional) for a reason, so we advise you not to attempt any of these at home!

• 5. Penis Push-ups
  
  This exercise is considered extremely advanced and for seasoned professionals only. It involves giving yourself an erection, lying on your stomach, and pushing yourself up and down by flexing your penile muscles. This may sound excruciating, and it is. If you thought regular push-ups were hard, these are darn-near impossible. If you can achieve even one of these, you truly deserve a gold medal as a penile Olympian. If you're just thinking about how to exercise your penis for the first time, I suggest that you try a simpler exercise to start.




• 4. Penis Soccer
  
  Playing soccer with your penis is popular in many parts of Europe (although they call it “penis football”). It's a good way to build up your stamina, have fun, and get some fresh air at the same time. The constant impact with the ball can be painful though, but apparently some people find that it's worth it. If Adidas goes through with its rumored endorsement of the emerging sport, you might start seeing special equipment at sporting goods stores that will make it a little less dangerous.


• 3. Penile Yoga
  
  Originating in India centuries ago and practiced in various parts of Asia, this highly spiritual penis exercise is growing in popularity. Basically, one sits on a special mat and focuses on their breathing while holding their penis in various contortions for prolonged periods of time. Supposedly, the result is a clear, sound mind, and a huge penis. Quiet ambient music is often used to enhance this exercise.


• 2. Penile Sport Fishing
  
  Supposedly originating amongst fishermen in Costa Rica, this method will allow you to leave your fishing pole at home while you exercise your own “rod.” Legend has it that many of these Costa Rican fishermen developed a technique that allowed them to cast lines hands free and exercise their penises at the same time. Not much is known about the specifics of this technique, but needless to say, it's not to be attempted by anyone other than an expert.


• 1. Hands-Free Channel Surfing
  
  If you're wondering how to exercise your penis while still being able to check out your favorite television programs, this might be the method for you. Certainly not for the novice, this exercise yields great results, but requires a certain degree of penile dexterity. Learning to operate a remote control with your penis is quite difficult to say the least, but has the benefits of freeing up both of your hands for beer and pretzel duties, as well as giving your penis a vigorous work-out. Like all aforementioned methods, we don't advise you to attempt this exercise without the assistance of a professional.